Christmas Is In Trouble!

SANTA'S WORKSHOP, THE NORTH POLE Oct. 23, 2021

Due to an outbreak of COVID-19 in Santa’s Workshop, production has been severely limited this year. Santa is asking that children only ask for one present this year so that he can ensure that all children are able to enjoy Christmas.

No one is quite sure how the deadly virus spread to the North Pole. All they know is that it has. The elf community has taken a heavy hit over the past year. This has caused Santa’s toy production capabilities to be drastically lowered. In attempt to ensure that every child has a Merry Christmas, the local 238 of the Elf Workers Union, along with Santa himself have asked that every child only request ONE present this year.

Humphrey, the chief elf in Santa’s Workshop, had this to say. “We are striving to produce as many toys as possible, but we have lost a lot of good elves this past year. We don’t want to lose anymore due to the stressed work conditions that could be brought on by children asking for more than one present.”

Mr. Claus himself was quoted as saying, “It’s been a tough year on everyone, I know that. I hate having to make requests like this, but I have lost so many good elves this year. I can’t afford to lose anymore. Please help me make this Christmas merry for everyone. Limit your requests to one gift. Anymore than that, and I’m afraid the elves will start dying from the stress of the situation. They are delicate little creatures.”

Santa’s Workshop has been in the business of providing a Merry Christmas for over 200 years now. Located at the North Pole, Santa and his elves work tirelessly year in and year out to produce the gifts that bring smiles to faces of billions of children every Christmas morning. Santa’s Sled Express, a subsidiary company, manages the complex logistics involved in delivering all these presents in under 24 hours. Santa’s Workshop is publicly traded on the NYSE under the sign: HOHOHO